Chapter 17, part 1

Strangetown, end of August.

Tank was pretty sure Beau and Bobby could live in that pool, if Brandi allowed it. They were in it every moment they could, which meant every moment they could talk someone into watching them – too young to be there completely unsupervised.

Buck and Ripp tended to prefer the public pool to the one in their own backyard, but then, they had friends to spend time with.

Tank didn’t have friends. He was bad at it, too hardened by too many years with the General. Sometimes, he would try. Strangetown was a military town, after all, and the school had a revolving door of students moving in and out of town all the time, and Tank would try his best at befriending anyone he thought seemed interesting. But he was known as an asshole and a bit of a bully, and in the end, it didn’t matter that he wasn’t mean to the new kid, someone would tell them about something Tank had done, or Tank would end up in a fight with someone else, and there went his new friend, accepted into the crowds in a way that Tank could never hope to be. His temper was short, and the fastest way to make him lose it was by acting like an idiot, and no matter how hard he tried he would end up saying the wrong thing – or the right thing, but with the wrong facial expression and it would be taken the wrong way. He had sort of expected that he was just like that, and couldn’t be helped.

But tomorrow; tomorrow he was leaving.

Not just the Strangetown where he had spent his entire life, and everyone knew who he was (and to stay away, mostly).

No, tomorrow was a bright day, one when Tank Grunt, Base commander’s eldest son and known asshole, could disappear, and on the other side of the city, Tank Grunt, college student who would lend you notes if you needed to and maybe invite to a party, could take his place. And Tank Grunt, college student could easily avoid people from Strangetown High School, and make sure any new friends he made got to know him well enough before they heard stories of his past self that they would still stick by him. All he needed to do was rein in his temper and try to be a nicer person.

How hard could that be, really?

“I thought you were packing,” Ripp greeted him.

“Done.”

“That was fast.”

“Not bringing that much stuff.”

“You don’t have that much stuff,” Buck said thoughtfully. “I never thought about that before.”

“It’s because future soldier boy prefers his living space to be spartan.” Ripp said.

“Do you even know what that word means?”

“Yes. Johnny gave me a word of the day-calendar. And his making me use the words in a sentence too.”

“Johnny is more concerned about you getting into college than Tank is,” Buck laughed.

“Well, since when has Tank cared about either of us?”

“What?” Tank said. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Means exactly what I said. You’re all protective of the little kids, but when it’s your own brothers, you never lifted a finger to help.”

“Oh, is that how you remember it?”

“How else would I remember it?”

“How about me doing everything around here that I possibly could to keep you two in line so Dad would have less reason to get mad at you?”

“Oh, is that what that was? You yelling and pushing us around all the time, it was for our own good?”

Buck quickly hushed him. “Beau and Bobby will hear you if you don’t calm down. The both of you.”

“Exactly,” Tank said. “And they know Dad has a temper, Beau especially. But we didn’t have Brandi to keep him in check back then, did we? All we had was each other, and all you two had was me! And I made sure your rooms were clean so Dad wouldn’t need to complain about that, I made sure you got your homework done, at least enough so the school wouldn’t call about it. Seriously, guys, you think I was such a hard-ass to you because it was fun?! I was trying to fucking protect you! You’re my little brothers for watcher’s sake, and you both kept mouthing off and antagonising him for no good reason, but at least I made sure it didn’t happen every single day.”

Both Buck and Ripp were avoiding his gaze now.

“He still beat us more than he did you,” Ripp mumbled.

“No he didn’t. I just made sure you didn’t know.”

Buck touched Ripp’s arm. “I remember one time when you were in trouble, and Tank said it was his fault, because he hadn’t reminded you like he usually did. And then you were pissed because it looked like all Tank got was a lecture.”

He looked at Tank. “That wasn’t true, was it?”

Tank nodded, and absent-mindedly rubbed at his arm. There were no bruises there anymore. It had been a long time now.

“Anyway, I’m leaving tomorrow, so you need to keep an eye on Dad. He’s been doing good with the anger management therapy, but we all know that might not last forever, so. If there’s a problem, or looks like there’s about to be a problem, call me. Or tell Brandi. Maybe Edwin at least can grow up without this crap.”

Buck nodded. “We’ll tell Brandi. She’s the adult.”

“Right.” She’s the adult. Not you. It’s not your job. It was never supposed to be your job.

“Sorry,” Ripp said. “Should’ve paid more attention, I guess.”

Tank swallowed. Apologies came so easy to Ripp, they always had. Maybe because he always made so many dumb mistakes, and so rarely did things wrong intentionally. He had a lot of practise at apologising. It was a lot harder for Tank.

“I’m sure if Tank was less emotionally constipated,” Buck said, “he’d forgive you, and he’d say he was sorry too.”

“I am,” Tank objected. “I really was just trying to keep you out of as much trouble as I could.”

He thought about it for a moment and then added, “but I’m sorry I was such an asshole about it. I didn’t need to be. I could’ve just talked to you instead.”

“We could’ve been a team,” Buck smiled. “Team Grunt Brothers, vs Angry Dad.”

“Yeah. Could’ve been.” Ripp smiled too.

Woulda coulda shoulda, Tank thought bitterly. Too late now.

#

“Tank?”

“Hey Beau.”

“Do you have to leave tomorrow?”

“It worked out best that way. Most people will be moving in this weekend, I think.”

Tank sighed as quietly as he could at the sight of Beau’s upset face. He wasn’t good with tears or giving comfort to children.

“I don’t want you to go at all,” Beau sniffed. “I want you to stay.”

“It’s college. People go to college. That’s the way it goes.”

“Dustin didn’t go away.”

“Dustin also didn’t have an almost perfect GPA.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

Damn this. Tank just wanted to leave. Be a Better Tank. He sighed again.

“It means Dustin didn’t think it was important to go to college. But I do. I got in, I got the scholarships I needed, and I’m going. And… I know that you’ll miss me. I’m going to miss you too, Beau. But if I don’t go, then I’ll just be unhappy. I know you don’t want that.”

Was guilt-shaming a nine year old mean? Maybe.

Beau wrapped his arms around him, hard, and wiped his nose on Tank’s shoulder.

“I don’t want you to be unhappy. I love you.”

“I love you too, kiddo. I promise I will call often, okay? Especially in the beginning, so you can get used to me being gone.”

“Can I call you too?”

“Sure. Of course you can.”

Beau wiped his tears from his eyes and smiled.

“I won’t call you too often, I promise.”

“Well, I’ll still want to hear about what’s going on here at home, you know.”

He hesitated a little. “Remember to look after Bobby and Edwin. That’s what a big brother is supposed to do. Just, don’t ever be mean to them if they don’t do what you want them to. Little brothers are like that some times.”

“I already do look after them,” Beau objected.

“Yeah, you do,” Tank agreed. “You’re the best at that. Best big brother.”

Beau shook his head. “No. That’s you. I don’t care what Ripp and Buck say.”